Sleeping with the lights on

I should be asleep,  or at least trying to sleep instead of tapping away on my phone.  But it is tricky you see, as Mr Green is away with work.  I am lucky as he rarely has to go away, but it is very strange without him. We're a bit soppy and do like to be together (I do find it strange when I hear people moaning about their partners and actually relishing time apart). We go to bed at the same time as each other every night and I genuinely struggle to sleep without him. I think that apart from missing him I must have that heightened state of alertness that you have when it is just you in charge.  And I do tend to fret generally about whether doors are locked and gas rings turned off. I worry a lot so having nobody else to reassure me can be difficult. 

I have Wobble to keep me company and she is noisily chewing something under the bed! Sausage has already been up once and Apple was awake until ten. Small changes in routine can affect the children more than I expect sometimes and the absence of Mr Green from the house is a tangible feeling.  I am very much looking forward to having him back and hopefully tomorrow will run smoothly. I am feeling slightly queasy,  which I desperately hope is due to anxiety rather than the tummy bug that Sausage has just had! Looking after children and animals whilst unwell is not an easy task.

 

Once again I will look on the positive side and count my blessings rather than dwell on minor issues.  Hopefully I will get some sleep,  not be ill and manage to keep everyone fed, cared for, educated and happy until Mr Green returns. I fear I may be rambling now so I am sending positive,  happy,  supportive vibes to anyone out there with worries or struggles and wishing you all a good night! 

Brothers, babies, burgers and baking

It's been a while since my last post. It feels like forever. It has taken several attempts to find time to complete the post. Apple is finally in school,  hooray!  Not the local one but a very good one and she seems happy.  We're just waiting to hear whether she gets a place on the school bus - fingers crossed. Sausage seems happy to have his 'mummy days' (just the two of us) back and we are slowly settling into the rhythm of a new routine. We particularly enjoy it when the days involve café trips with cake but these are expanding my waistline and depleting my bank balance so will have to be limited!

I had the great pleasure of a visit from lovely brother a couple of weeks ago. We hadn't seen each other since Christmas so it was great to catch up. We had an evening of pizza and wine with Mr Green then the next day deposited the children at their various establishments before heading to the beach with Wobble. We walked and talked among the rock pools and waves,  putting the world to rights and discussing our own dilemmas. One of the topics for discussion was parenthood. Lovely brother is used to a lot of freedom.  Now he is in a healthy, long term relationship he is pondering the prospect of bringing a child into the world. He is a fantastic uncle and his niece and nephews adore him but would he make a good father?  Could he cope with the permanent momentous change in his usually predictable life? As introverts we both struggle with noise, decisions, assertiveness, and need moments of peace and solitude.  We both need lots of sleep. I cope because I am mum to children who need me to cope and need me to be there; because I love my children beyond measure and because I have a fantastic husband who supports and loves me and knows my needs. I love watching the children grow, change and develop and love being there for them when they need me. But there are times when it is completely overwhelming, I don't know how to handle things and sometimes have a desperate need to run away.  It's hard to give impartial advice when you are in the thick of it, so I just gave the unedited version of reality.  I wonder what he and his partner will decide. Parenthood is so special but it is not for everyone and I believe it should not be entered into lightly.  

And now onto food. Whilst together lovely brother went for lunch in one of my favourite cafes and had the most delectable burgers - smoky black bean and beetroot.  They were wholesome and healthy but very tasty and I will try to recreate them at home - recipe to follow soon!  I have also sampled a tofu and cashew burger at the same place which was delicious.  I have had some baking successes recently including carrot and chocolate cake,  raspberry bakewell cake and chocolate brownies. I will share some new recipes soon.

 

A lot has been happening recently but I will try to resurrect the blog and add some photos,  recipes and more musings.